The Monks of Alqueria
Alquerian society is seen as godless, debauched and anarchic by the more sanctimonious observer. While most would agree it sounds like terrific fun the Monks of the order of St Jude the Daft, decided to save our wayward Pueblo.
The people of Alqueria, seizing their chance sold the Monks, who were blinded by religious fervour two overpriced dilapidated houses on the Calle Mirador. The Monks set to with a will and soon the Monastery of St. Jude the Daft (Alqueria) opened its doors for business. The Monks waited, and waited, and waited. The only taker was Loco Paco who mistook the Monks for a rare antipodean marsupial and tried to lasso the Abbot.
The people of Alqueria gave the monastery a wide berth. Monks in penance covered themselves, their clothes and anything in reach with a mixture of cow dung, goat’s droppings and pomegranate flesh. Accompanied with a shrill wail punctuated by nasal grunts it gave rise to a totally nauseating spectacle. Their foul smelling clothes were undoubtedly responsible for some dirty habits.
As for the spiritual salvation of the populace little headway was made. The Abbot summoned Sacerdote del Semblante Lánguido, the Village Priest on a consultative basis. Now these Monks in fact very few monks anywhere have had dealings with an existentialist priest. The monastic fraternity has been well shielded from this kind of thinking. The more the priest hammered home the meaninglessness of the universe and the contingency of all life the more the Monks became electrified. The credo of living for today and the understanding that tomorrow is just an unreachable hypothetical point in free space hit home.
The Abbot tried to quell this philosophical uprising, but the choice between ritual bathing in manure and of abstinence came a poor second to the Priest’s hedonistic view of life. The Abbot was a trier however and had faith, misplaced perhaps in his flock, he suggested a trial. It was to be the old struggle between perceived good and perceived evil. Which is which depended on your viewpoint. The Abbot armed the Monks with their faith but the Priest introduced them to Manuela. Consequently the Monks were led into a trial of temptation, they all failed miserably.
Red-eyed and dissipated the Monks began reinventing their order. The Abbot fled to Britain where he now councils prime ministers who have been rejected by their Parliament. The Monks’ habits are now sequined and thigh length. The Monastery renamed ‘St. Jude the Daft a Go Go’.