The Alquerian Popular Front training programme had begun in earnest, with the aid of a copy of ‘Subversion and Sedition for Dummies’, Manuela took the recruits through their paces. The Evasion and Infiltration Exercise had been a disappointment however. Daft Diego went into hiding and was never seen again while Loco Paco’s camouflage was so convincing it completely fooled a pair of newly married rooks who began construction of their nest on what they thought was a stout bough, Paco didn’t have the heart to move them on. Manuela and Antonio Poyato performed the infiltration part of the exercise, which Antonio interpreted in quite the wrong way and was rewarded with a rather fashionable high-heeled army boot to the groin.
We join the remaining three members of the A.P.F. as they are put through their Weapon’s Training paces.
“It says here Manuela, you must cock your weapon and slide a projectile into the chamber”.
“Antonio, you’re not reading from your much thumbed copy of ‘Naughty Privates do Colchester’ are you?”.
“No Manuela, you burnt it, remember?”.
“Let me read and you hold your weapon, Antonio stop that! Your rifle hold your rifle!!!!!!!”.
“Its not a rifle Manuela its a blunderbuss I stole it from the museum, it doesn’t have a bolt you put things down the barrel, I have put nuts down there”.
“Nuts and bolts Antonio they will do much damage?”.
“No Manuela walnuts, six of them”.
“Antonio, walnuts? We are supposed to be attacking the enemy not making a Waldorf Salad! Now don’t touch the trigger until you have put the safety catch Arrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……… Antonio you have just shot me in the culito”.
“I have much sorrow Manuela, if I have disfigured you perfect culito I will have many people showing much anger towards me”.
“And what about my pain Antonio, the pain?……….Antonio look, is there much damage?”.
“Five big bruises Manuela, but the walnuts have not penetrated they are here on the ground all five of them”.
“You said you loaded with six, Antonio where’s the other one? ………………………….. OOHHHHHHHHHH don’t bother I know where it is”.
“Where is it Manuela?………………..ohhhhhhh I see, we must go to Dr. Careless Carlos and have it removed Manuela”.
“No Antonio we mustn’t bother him it’s very very late, you carry on with the weapons drill I’m just going to sit here quietly……..Mmmmmmmm…………..I think”.
When and where will the Alquerian Popular Front strike?
Will Antonio always be a walnut short of a Waldorf Salad?
Will Manuela ever need boys again?