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Trafalgar Square 2009
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Remitroot: Its Origins and Uses.

Remitroot: Its Origins and Uses.

Remitroot is a difficult plant to cultivate, many have tried but few succeed however the rewards for successfully growing this singular shrub are many. Products derived from Remitroot fetch premium prices the world over. The plant’s botanical name is Remitus Radix, it grows to a maximum height of one metre and produces a crop of bright red berries. When in flower it is of a light orange colour which opens during the night and remains tightly closed in the shape of a small pine-cone during the day.

Although Remitroot is tolerant to wide temperature variations and will survive equally in bright sunlight as well as total darkness it is the nutrient requirements that make it so difficult to grow. The soil must contain the correct mix of proteins, phosphates, nitrates and saturated fats. Only one location contains this ‘correct mix’ naturally, that is a one hectare area in Alqueria, a pueblo at the foot of the Sierra Alhamilla in the Province of Almería. The Remitroot field of Alqueria is naturally watered from the outflow of the antiquated domestic drainage system of the town. It is from this disgusting mixture of rotting vegetables, discarded meats and human effluent that the Remitroot plant thrives.

The seeds are of particular interest, they are black, spherical and extremely hard, indeed one has never been opened and they will even resist the attentions of diamond tipped drills. Some years ago a Remitroot seed was subjected to intense radiation, this was achieved by driving it through Palomares in an open car. The seed was then planted where it germinated immediately and grew to a height of two metres. When a mathematical problem was read out to it, it supplied the correct answer by dipping its leaves, the plant could also dance the Lambada.

When the juice obtained from the berries is distilled it produces a potent whisky and when fermented an intoxicating wine. The worryingly pink tubular roots can baked into a nourishing meat substitute, one serving can sustain a healthy man for a week. The leaves can be mashed and used as a rust retardant in the ballast tanks of oil tankers.

The only draw back is the aphrodisiac effect associated with all of these products. The Romans knew of Remitroot and it was much prized by Caligula who is said to have some of his best nights on the stuff.

So if you want to know more of Remitroot and Alqueria then visit http://www.alqueria.eu.

‘Enchanting
Spain’

A photo journey
through Spain

book

Written by:
John MacDonald
&
Patricia Díaz Pereda.

ISBN 978-1-909612-70-9
To order from Amazon.co.uk
Click here


by John MacDonald

 

Trafalgar

Moving on a pavement artist. London. 2009

eSCAPE"

 

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