Loca Pepa and the Hot Clothes
Loca Pepa needed an income as her partner, Loco Paco had been made redundant at the Goat Shirling Pit where he worked sharpening the Shirling Grunduks. Pepa, by some aberration of the Gods had successfully set up an international smuggling syndicate covering two continents. Loca Pepa wasn’t however known as ‘Loca’ for nothing, she was planning to smuggle underwear, Manuela’s in particular from Alqueria into Guatamala. Just where she got the idea that underwear was in demand in the Caribbean is a mystery, but then most things regarding Pepa are mysteries. The cartel which was due to receive the ‘goods’ in Guatamala offered premium prices as they believed the word ‘underwear’ was code for ‘Remitroot the Aphrodisiac’.
Pepa’s ‘modus operandi’ was to arfinch the items from Manuela’s washing line, where they hung like erotic semaphore flags, in the early hours of the morning. Manuela, of course blamed Antonio Poyato for the loss as he was an habitual purloiner of her undergarments. In fact a court order had banned him from being within fifty metres of her washing line, this didn’t however stop him from continually trying to get into her knickers.
Once Pepa had collected enough of the lacy intimate apparel she hid them in a specially constructed false bottom of her suitcase and headed for the airport. The Spanish customs at the Alquerian border became extremely suspicious as Pepa, never a good actress and being guilt ridden, suffered an acute attack of nerves. They searched the case, found the false bottom and searched the underwear. The custom officers recognised the underwear as Manuela’s, as they had all at one time or another come in close contact with it but as her frillies aren’t classed as contraband they continued searching. After two hours they gave up, chalked a mark on Pepa’s case and allowed her to pass. Pepa was in high glee as she boarded her Guatemalan bound flight.
Pepa was met in Guatamala by a sinister black limousine filled with blue-chinned bandits brandished semi-automatic pistols and speaking out of the corners of their mouths. They seemed somewhat confused as Pepa attempted to exchange a gross of alluring but unpractical knickers for a wad of U.S. Dollars. To put things mildly, they were somewhat miffed and Pepa was unceremoniously thrown from the moving car landing among the baggage of an itinerant Morris Dancing team from Somerset. The trip was not a total disaster however as the men of the Morris Dancing team enthusiastically purchased the underwear, Pepa didn’t ask any questions.
“Antonio, are you sure you didn’t take my knickers, but, they are no good to you unless I am in them, are they?” said Manuela.