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To Uggaby

To Uggaby

Our gallant heroes settle in the back of their limousine, well, limousine by Uggabian standards a ‘Reliant Robin’ with a heater, for their trip from an airport somewhere in southern England to Uggaby.

“Antonio, this car only has three wheels, should I tell the driver?”.

“I think he knows Manuela. The steering wheel is on the wrong side as well”.

“Do you think he know that also Antonio?”.

“Yes Manuela I’m sure he does”.

“I have much hunger Antonio, We missed dinner on the plane”.

“You missed dinner Manuela! They served it while you danced the Tango with the steward”.

“OHHHH I didn’t did I?…….Tango Antonio? It’s usually the Lambada”.

“You are very versatile”.

“No Antonio, I think I’m just getting old”.

“Tell the driver you have much hunger Manuela”.

“I can’t speak English Antonio, I know I will point to my stomach…………….He has a strange look on his face Antonio, I do not like it”.

“Manuela! That is not your stomach you are pointing to……………That’s better, he has the message, he’s pulling in at this building called ‘The Hanging Monkey’ apparently………… Oh Manuela this is an English ‘pub’”.

“What’s a pub Antonio?”.

“They are like our bars Manuela, except the beer is warm, you stand while drinking and they close every time you have a thirst”.

“OHH as long as they serve food, my stomach makes much noise”.

“Sí Manuela it’s like your very own ‘surround sound’”.

Our travellers enter the pub and having gone through the ‘English Pub Initiation’ of getting wet elbows while leaning on the bar, order the ‘Chef’s special’. They then sit down and wait expectantly.

“How long do we have to ‘wait expectantly’ Antonio?”.

“Here it comes now Manuela”.

“What is it Antonio?”.

“Food Manuela”.

“This is not a meal Antonio this is an assault with a deadly weapon. Antonio! FOOD DOES NOT LOOK LIKE THIS!”.

“Tranquila Manuela, here drink your gin and tonic”.

“Muchas Gracias Antonio……………….Antonio! where’s the gin?…………There is more alcohol in my mouth wash”.

“English measures Manuela”.

“OHHH Antonio let’s just go to Uggaby, it must be better than here………Antonio what’s that noise?”.

“Rain Manuela”.

“Ooooooohhhhhh Antonio I have much depression”.

Will Manuela and Antonio ever reach Uggaby?

What happened to Abigail?

by John MacDonald