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Trafalgar Square 2009

Flamenco dancer

Ritmo Andaluz Show

Remitbrick. The fallout

Remitbrick. The fallout

Of the countries vying to pour money into the Alquerian Remitbrick and Remitbright project the bulging pockets of the United States won the day. Russia couldn’t justify the same sustained level of investment. Britain supplied the pencil sharpeners which became scarce, a situation which was promptly exploited by unscrupulous stationary traders. ‘A good deal for Britain’ the Prime Minister said as she sharpened her pencil with a ‘Swiss Army Knife’.

Remitbrick and Remitbright were manufactured under license in the United States and a showcase village built. Remitbrick with its integral climate control, heating in cool conditions and cooling in the warm weather alleviated the necessity for air-conditioning. Remitbright with the capacity to emit photons during the hours of darkness kept a permanent glow in the house’s reception rooms.

Trouble was however brewing. The greed of Poyato and others in Alqueria led to a falsifying of test results from the trials of Remitbrick and Remitbright. Underdevelopment was inevitable as the Alquerian Government eagerly anticipated the arrival of 10,000,000 U.S. Dollars for the production rights.

Connedborough County in the deep west of the United States was the chosen site for the showcase village, Remitville. Completed and occupied during the Autumn, several months before the cold winter weather took hold. It was the cold weather that produced the first unfortunate side-effect of the new building material.

Remitbright the photon emitting ceiling covering was never tested below 0C. At -1C it emitted fumes which when inhaled caused the unlucky tenants to forget their names and have unscheduled bowel movements. The village was evacuated. It was still empty as the summer sun caressed Remitville, which was fortunate for at a temperature of 31C Remitbrick, the thermal wonder spontaneously explodes. If one was ready for the sight of an entire village exploding it would be awe inspiring. If one was not ready it would cause even more bowels to move.

The United States asked for their money back. Unable to justify a 10,000,000 Dollar hole in the ground they sought recompense. The good folk of Alqueria briefly refused. Only briefly as a U.S. Warship was deployed within missile range. To the casual observer it may seem that a cruise missile strike on Alqueria would cause much needed improvements. The Alquerian people however are not noted for their valour, the threat did the trick. They reluctantly handed over the cash. Rodriquez the olive mill owner was particularly upset owing to him having to cancel the purchase of a solid gold combined back scratcher and garlic press.

With Alqueria off the United State’s Christmas card list and the import of Remitroot products banned, events had taken a distinctly unpleasant turn.


A photo journey
through Spain


Written by:
John MacDonald
Patricia Díaz Pereda.

ISBN 978-1-909612-70-9
To order from Amazon.co.uk
Click here

by John MacDonald



Moving on a pavement artist. London. 2009



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