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Trafalgar Square 2009
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Remitbrick and Remitbright

Remitbrick and Remitbright

Investment in the ‘Poyato Institute for the Furtherance of Remitroot and Associated Products’ comes from many countries. Financial support from the United States and Russia while Britain supplies the pencil sharpeners. “A good deal for Britain” the Prime Minister declared when she broke the news of British involvement in the scheme. These countries energetically compete for a foothold in the Remitroot crop and an interest in the amazing potential of the plant.

The swelling of Alquerian coffers via this fund meant the Villagers can while away their time doing absolutely no work, drinking themselves silly and eating off the fat of the land. A front was made to give the Institute legitimacy and Poyato spent his time in a tiny laboratory on his small-holding. It was a commonly held belief that he was pursuing some hedonistic and possibly illegal pastime in the confines of the lab. Antonio Poyato was however beavering away with test tube and centrifuge mixing and decanting extracts from his precious Remitroot.

Remitroot or Remitus Radix as it was known to the Romans has many uses. Distilled into a potent spirit, fermented into a full-bodied wine or crushed to make a corrosion preventative for the ballast tanks of oil-tankers. It possesses medicinal and combustible qualities and is renowned as an aphrodisiac. It cures Peruvian Toe Rot, detonates at seven kilometres a second and was used to fuel many of Caligula’s best nights. Now Poyato had pushed the boundaries of Remitroot even further.

Remitbrick and Remitbright are the results of this research. Remitbrick is a building material made from Alquerian Clay, a distinctive clay modified by bad drainage and processed Remitroot stalks. The resultant brick has inverse thermal qualities. As the ambient temperature rises so the brick cools and as the temperature drops so it warms. A house constructed from these bricks has an internal temperature of 21.75 degrees centigrade irrespective of outside conditions. No need for heating in the Winter or air-conditioning in the Summer.

Remitbright is a paint made from Alquerian Newt urine and crushed Remitroot berries. This emulsion emits photons inversely proportional to the light falling on it. The darker the night so the more photons are emitted causing a daylight balanced glow which alleviates the necessity for lighting in reception rooms etc.

The announcement of these two products caused a sensation in the benefactor countries. Cash flowed in, while Britain started supplying the pencils as well as the sharpeners. All wanted a piece of this new Remitroot action.

How will the power companies and others with similar vested interests welcome these new products?

Is this a watershed in Alquerian fortunes?

We shall see.

by John MacDonald