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Ritmo Andaluz Show

The Alqueria Four

The Alqueria Four

An unnamed power had invaded Alqueria and the prized Remitroot crop was now under foreign control. Those loyal to the Republic sought refuge in the high sierra. The government in exile consisting of Manuela, Antonio Poyato, Loco Paco and Loca Pepa continued to operate from the cave of old man Matas. Matas was somewhat confused to have these uninvited guests billeted upon him but seemed to enjoy Manuela’s company although this wasn’t reciprocated and Manuela was forced to reinforce her underwear with thirty amp fuse wire. Matas bought a stout pair of wire cutters and went on the offensive until Manuela gave him an unscheduled colonoscopy with his own 1897 smooth bore Mauser.

The occupying power was justly worried about theses fugitives and their ability to make nuisances of themselves and decided to act decisively striking at the soft underbelly of the ‘Alqueria Four’. In the early hours a strike force flown in by helicopter shimmied down ropes and following a succession of exploding stun grenades crashed through the upper story windows of Loco Paco’s Alquerian home. Their objective was the brightly coloured kennel where ‘Bengy’, Loco Paco’s pet Saharan dung beetle slumbered, dreaming of pushing his large ball of excrement through the desert waste. Bengy was taken to the town hall where he was held as ransom against the surrender of the Alqueria Four.

The ransom note was carefully constructed from letters cut from issue sixty nine of ‘Naughty Nun Monthly’, in which Manuela featured so prominently, it was however a waste of time as everyone knew who sent it, it was fun though. Paco was beside himself with grief and try as she may Loca Pepa couldn’t cheer him up even though she prepared his favourite food, Alqueria Tree-Toed Newt in the Hole. Manuela thought about cheering him up with a suggestion which sounded similar but was in practice completely different. She erred on the side of sanity however and simply told him to ‘get a grip’ of himself and applied liberal quantities of Remitroot wine which Paco proceeded to dilute with his profuse tears.

The lights, or rather light burned late in the cave of old man Matas as the four decided upon their response. They must rescue Bengy and return matters to how they were before the unnamed power played their trump card. Old Man Matas was still under the illusion that the Civil War was in progress and had a stock of antiquated but serviceable weapons.

Are things going to ‘hot up’ in Alqueria?
Manuela certainly hopes so but perhaps with different connotations.

by John MacDonald