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Trafalgar Square 2009
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Ritmo Andaluz Show

Alquiexit

Alquiexit

Alqueria has been a member of the European Union for some years now, it was however the result of a spelling mistake. Ballsakia in the Balkans had applied for membership but a defective mainframe processor in Brussels misspelt the country’s name and a letter duly dropped onto the doormat of the Ayuntamiento in Alqueria welcoming them into the fold. Ballsakia was too involved with invading its neighbour Ponsienegro to notice, when they finally did it was too late to reverse. Alqueria had applied for and received E.U. funding for everything from new sanitation in the town hall to the building of a Remitroot powered particle accelerator.

Some five years has passed since Alqueria became part of Europe during which time our Pueblo had thrived. Manuela and Antonio Poyato, who were the closest thing to a government Alqueria had pondered the political awareness of their constituents. Poyato said it was ninety-five percent apathy, Manuela argued for one hundred percent inertia. A bet was made with a month’s supply of Remitroot Wine to the winner. The issue would be decided by referendum. The issue E.U. membership, the question, ‘out’ yes or no. With only three hundred people eligible to vote it was easy to arrange.

Only one person voted.

Daft Diego thought E.U. stood for ‘Erotic Union’ and so obviously voted ‘yes’. The result failed to settle the bet with Manuela and Poyato sharing the wine during an evening which they both want to forget but Rodriguez has the photographs and won’t let them forget. The photographs are changing hands for five hundred Euros a print in the side streets off Madrid’s Grand Via. The referendum however attracted the notice of the international press. It was for this reason that Manuela and Antonio Poyato wrote to Brussels with the wonderful news that Alqueria had decided to remain in the European Union.

Brussels was quick to reply. In a passionate and lengthy letter they pleaded with Alqueria to leave. Member nations had ‘chipped in’ to pay into Alquerian coffers a large annual retainer if they left the E.U. Manuela and Antonio Poyato agreed the terms on the behalf of the Republic of Alqueria and promptly went on an extended holiday to the Caribbean. The Alquerian passport retained its red cover and the reference to the E.U. however, otherwise the Alquerian Government website would need changing. Visit it at www.alqueria.eu and apply for citizenship.

Alqueria once more stands along, a nation of individuals gazing at a hostile world through Remitroot glazed eyes.

All the Alqueria radio plays are archived at www.alqueria.eu.

by John MacDonald