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Ritmo Andaluz Show

Un Hombre Para Pilar

Un Hombre para Pilar

Pilar had made a serious mistake. She was looking for love on the internet. That however wasn’t the mistake. The mistake was allowing Manuela to find out. For those who haven’t been paying attention, Manuela is the ‘femme fatale’ of Alqueria and Pilar her understudy and Pilar hated Manuela with a hatred that was almost tangible. Manuela now saw the opportunity of making a nuisance of herself and set about creating the perfect profile with which to bait the soon to be unfortunate Pilar.

George Clooney ‘Photoshopped’ produced the perfect image and a paragraph plagiarised from ‘The perfect Man Monthly’, a fictional magazine, completed the perfect profile. Manuela was in high glee as she posted it on ‘B2gether.com’ the website for the terminally lonely in answer Pilar’s pitiful plea for a life’s partner. With a self-satisfied smile Manuela sipped a chilled Remitroot piña colada as she waited for events to unfold. As she waited for Pilar to respond she occupied herself by putting her own profile online, just as a ‘distraction’ she told herself. It was to be her own petard which would, in due course to hoist her.

Fate is fickle and Manuela was due a full helping of ‘karma’. Karma in shape of Antonio Poyato who lusted after Manuela like a Berber hungers for sherbet. Seeing Manuela’s profile online he set about preparing the ‘perfect’ profile. George, once again came in for editing, this time with a goatee beard and duelling scar while the profile was completed with an extract from the end paper of ‘Biggles Flies Undone’. Antonio Poyato duly responded to Manuela’s post and waited.

The situation is thus. Pilar, in a state of high sexual agitation responded to Manuela’s bogus profile. Manuela had bribed Pongy Pedro to meet Pilar on her fake profile’s behalf. To explain Pedro’s epithet, he has a rare fungal condition that effects the groin with an aroma of a decaying halibut, a ginger tabby cat has been following him about for the past two weeks. Manuela, in a similar state of agitation had responded to Anotonio’s Poyato´s fake profile. Meetings had been arranged.

Both couples were to meet at the same time at the Bar La Casa Devante and both couples were to wear the flower of the early Remitroot plant, this being a traditional symbol of fertility. Not that the ladies in question needed any help in that direction. What could possible go wrong?

Antonio Poyato met Pilar instead of Manuela, they enjoyed a brief but vigorous relationship. This was fortunate as Manuela’s reaction at being presented with poyato instead of a Clooney lookalike could have proved fatal for the lovelorn Antonio. Manuela cut her losses and took Pongy Pedro home for vermin control purposes.

This of course was never spoken of again.

by John MacDonald