The Psychologist Cometh
The outside world decided to discover what really made the people of Alqueria tick. They hoped that with this knowledge they could pacify the problematic population. A fund raised by public donation was to be used to send an undercover psychologist into Alqueria. Then using clandestine methods probe the psyche of prominent members of the population. Unfortunately the cash raised amounted to three Euros and 24 cents, however NATO, deciding the peace of the Western World to be at stake chipped in with the rest.
Dr. Pat Meebum from the University of Greater Snafu drew the short straw and started packing. This highlights the dangers of adding your name to standby lists simply to collect the retainer, it could backfire. After she stopped screaming and tearing her hair the worthy Doctor headed, incognito to Alqueria.
Now, if there is a preordained destiny which governs the universe then Dr. Pat’s first encounter was always going to be with Loco Paco. If an initial confrontation with Paco is alarming then subsequent meetings are extremely disturbing. Paco will talk to anyone irrespective of whether they actually exists or not. In fact he treats the actual and the insubstantial as equal and interchangeable. Paco was in high glee as he rambled on and on. Dr. Pat patiently took notes, shook her head then tut, tutted in the time honoured fashion of those of her profession. Loco Paco told her of dung beetles and Remitroot, invisible Rodents and existentialist priests. When he actually produced Benjy, his pet Saharan Dung Beetle Dr. Pat began doubting her own sanity.
The psychologist, trembling slightly closed her notebook and sought her next subject. Antonio Poyato, strolling in the sun in an attempt to clear the cobwebs of a night’s drinking stared bleary eyed. Poyato hadn’t started sampling the new Remitroot vintage and was somewhat preoccupied with the thought of that pressing but extremely enjoyable task. With a distant look he muttered softly and almost incomprehensibly, “What, Remitroot, ah, Remitroot, ooh” before striding off in the direction of his small-holding, eyes glazed and arms pumping. Dr. Pat made a further note on her writing pad.
The potential patient that finally broke the psychologist’s back was the good Manuela. Good for various reasons, just ask the village lads. Manuela has a singular outlook on life, hedonistic in the extreme. Behind her a wake of exhausted, damaged male wrecks and before her potential partners wait expectant, apprehensive and eager. Manuela shocked Dr. Pat who regarded herself as progressive and without inhibitions. The details of her antics, described by Manuela both graphically and with relish made the Doctor slightly nauseous and they probably bordered on the illegal even in Holland.
Dr. Pat now lives in an outbuilding to the east of Alqueria. She sits trembling and muttering. She now has her very own five-foot tall invisible rodent friend which she calls ‘Enid’.
